


The New Fridge, Or How Not to Spend a Friday Night

by Yrindor



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pokemon Fusion, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 09:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8743948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yrindor/pseuds/Yrindor
Summary: Iwaizumi had never cared about the details of his appliances so long as they got the job done.  He regrets that when his new fridge turns out to have a mind of its own.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miyukitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miyukitty/gifts).



> I'm not sure exactly where this came from. Oikawa and the Rotomdex from the new Pokémon series share a voice actor, and somehow that turned into a discussion of what Oikawa!Rotom would get up to in other appliances.

Iwaizumi felt like he'd been hovering by kitchen doorway for hours before the maintenance technician said, "Your new fridge is all set to go. Please enjoy the newest model of the Rotom 111 Refrigeration Unit, now with improved self-learning technology and voice control."

"Thank you," Iwaizumi said as he showed the man out the door. He wasn't overly excited by the features of the new fridge; he never would have purchased it under normal circumstances, but it had been on sale, and his old fridge had died rather unceremoniously earlier that week. He didn't care about frills, so he had purchased the cheapest replacement he could find. It just happened the cheapest model that particular day had also happened to be the newest and most advanced, which had been on sale to celebrate some milestone in its success—Iwaizumi hadn't cared enough to look at the details.

As soon as he stepped into the kitchen, a panel on the front of the fridge lit up. "Hello~," the fridge said in an overly cheerful robotic voice. "I'm your new Rotom 111 Fridge. My name's Oikawa, what's yours, new friend?"

"Iwaizumi," Iwaizumi replied, gritting his teeth at the voice that was far too cheerful for a Friday night.

"Nice to meet you, Iwa-chan!"

"Don't call me Iwa-chan!"

"Aww, but it's a nice name, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi rubbed his temples. "Are my drinks cold yet, Shittykawa?" he asked.

"Nah-ah, that's rude, Iwa-chan," the fridge chirped. "I won't chill anything if you're rude."

"Look, I just want a soda," Iwaizumi groaned, already regretting his decision not to read the fine print before making his purchase.

"No soda tonight, Iwa-chan! You have a game tomorrow! How can you play your best if you don't feed yourself properly?"

"I. Want. A. Soda," Iwaizumi said, pulling the fridge door open, but when he tried to take a bottle from the door, the bars holding it in place snapped at his fingers.

"I said no soda, Iwa-chan. Acceptable drink options you currently have stocked include water, tea, and Pocari," the fridge said, and as it listed each option, its light flashed to highlight their locations.

Iwaizumi sighed and tried to decide what he wanted that wouldn't risk getting his fingers bruised by an overly pushy fridge. It had been a long day at the end of a long week, and he had been looking forward to a soda since sometime before lunch; he hadn't considered a backup plan.

"It's wasteful to leave the fridge door open for too long, Iwa-chan," the fridge sang. "You have five seconds left to make your decision before the fridge door will automatically closer."

"Give me a minute, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi snapped. "It wouldn't be taking this long if you had just let me have what I wanted in the first place."

"No can do; someone needs to make sure Iwa-chan's taking proper care of himself. You have two seconds remaining."

"I'm still thinking."

"One second!"

"Just shut up for a second and let me think!"

"Sorry, time's up. Please move aside so I can close the door."

When Iwaizumi didn't move, the door of the fridge began repeatedly bumping into his arm until he finally stepped out of the way. He wasn't going to give the fridge the satisfaction of getting the last word though, so he grabbed a spare water bottle from his gym bag instead. It wasn't cold, but he'd take that over the smug smile he was sure he'd get if he grabbed one from the fridge (he wasn't sure exactly how a fridge could look smug, but he was sure his new model would if given half a chance).

"Goodnight, Iwa-chan," the fridge called when he turned out the light on his way out of the kitchen. "You need to leave for your game by 10 am tomorrow. Would you like a reminder?"

"I'm all set," Iwaizumi said. He didn't want to think about what obnoxiously cheerful method the fridge would come up with to wake him up in the morning; having it greet him for breakfast was going to be bad enough.

"What am I going to do with him, Ishi-kun?" Iwaizumi asked as his Rockruff climbed into bed with him. "I bet he's going to give me a hard time about breakfast too, isn't he? We don't need anyone else in here, do we? It's fine with just you and me."

The dog growled possessively and butted its head against his hand.

Iwaizumi laughed. "I can't tell if you're saying I should give him a chance, or if you're saying you're jealous and you don't like him," he said. "We're stuck with him though, 'all sales are final' and whatnot, so please try to get along. And for the love of everything, please _don't_ try to mark your territory in here."

Ishi-kun barked twice, and Iwaizumi just hoped he had understood.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, comments and feedback are welcome and appreciated.


End file.
